In order to achieve big things, you’re going to need boundaries. Boundaries around your time first and foremost. Boundaries around where you will spend it.
My name is Joya. I head up a leadership platform for executive women. Today, I’m sharing a veritable “grocery list” of tips, so you can set healthy boundaries too. It’s the way I’ve been able to double my revenue with my business and grow my membership base in the last two years. I see women struggling with the ability to set boundaries and do it gracefully so I inspired to share this Grocery List.
I hope you can achieve big things too as a result.
#1 Self Awareness
Can you tell when your boundaries have been violated and what you need to do do next?
Ok, you have said it out loud, “I’m taking Saturday to myself” but your mom schedules an afternoon family brunch and wants you to make casserole. You don’t want to hurt her feelings, but it’s been a tough week and you need a day to hit the ‘reset’ button. Be a detective and understand why that boundary was important to you. Starting to separate out ‘your stuff’ from ‘other people’s stuff.’
#2 Have scripts to say in the moment
Be able to gracefully express that you can’t do something is key.
You can manage your feelings. You can manage other people’s feelings. But you can’t do both. Explaining that hitting the reset button by being alone will help you be a better daughter, wife, employer may be all the other party needs to hear. “I would love to do brunch, but I can’t do that today. Can we plan for another Saturday? I’m free the 25th.”
#3 Set boundaries early
Let’s face it. We all have people in our lives who will work hard to test boundaries we have set. It can be even harder in pre existing relationships. Set boundaries early.
If you know there is a party in June, but you won’t be attending, manage expectations from the very beginning. “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to make it.” This way everyone knows where they stand, and feelings of hurt, confusion, and frustration can be lessened.
#4 Be Consistent
Letting boundaries slide can be confusing. It gives others permission to stomp all over them, the next time you set them.
I’m consistent with being home and in bed before 10pm on the weekdays. My morning workouts at 6am are important to me. By consistently expressing “I have to go” at 9:30pm helps to reinforce my thresholds of ‘fun.’ My lines remain clearly established.
Want to go deeper with this topic? I have a speaker this evening at 6pm on the subject of healthy boundaries. https://bit.ly/3NvA5wZ
Read this post and more on my Typeshare Social Blog
