10 Tips For Persisting with Your Wedding Plans (Despite the Pandemic)
LadyDrinks member and wedding planner Sonal Shah, founder of SJS Events, shares her top ten tips for pivoting client weddings during the pandemic .
- Postpone. Don’t Cancel. Initially, April weddings were rescheduled. Now October weddings are getting rescheduled to 2021. “We’re fully supportive of people moving their dates to next year. You want both your family and guests to be in the right frame of mind for this joyous occasion.”
- 2021 is getting booked up. Two years worth of weddings are converging on 2021. Dates and vendor availability is scarce, especially in the luxury wedding space.
3. Be decisive. “Let’s see what happens” is not a recommended way to go. Sonal recommends that brides sit down with families and push to make a decision.
4. Present options: Sonal recommends, for October, November weddings, for clients to create a grid with the availability of vendors and venues. Come up with options for alternative dates for next year. Don’t pull the trigger yet. “But at least you have all the information and you know what you can potentially do. It makes people feel a little bit better knowing that they have an option B and a backup plan if they really need it.”
5. Handling social distancing at weddings: Greece is a big destination for weddings and the country just opened up this week. However, the mandate is three to four people on a table that traditionally holds 10-12. If you are booking for a 300 person wedding, book a space that holds 600 people. The United States hasn’t announced guidelines like this yet, but make these decisions now versus closer to the date when the 600 person venue may not be available.
6. Hiring caterers who can host sit down dinners and not only buffets. Ask about their safety protocol with handling masks, gloves, staffing, food handling. “We as professionals are having these conversations ourselves. What are our best practices for keeping people safe?”
7. Guests lists. Couple may be deciding on their guest lists, but guests are going to decide for themselves based on their own comfort level around travel and crowds. Send out the invites. See who confirms.
8. Consider a virtual wedding this year. Host a big celebration in 2021 or 2022. For the couples who want to get married this year, new technology and professional camera crews are affording couples the ability to host virtual weddings against beautiful backdrops. The only people in the same room are the couple and the priest. Guests attend via link. “It’s a very upscale version of zoom, let’s just say.” Plan for a big in person celebration in 2022.
9. Be open to other dates besides a Saturday wedding. There are limited days that are auspicious. There are limited days that fall on a weekend. Sonal recommends that clients be open to weekday weddings. “Everybody wants to get married on a Saturday, but in India people get married on a Tuesday or Wednesday. If you can get your venue, if you can get your vendors, you can still have a beautiful wedding. Open up these dates so that you’re a little bit more at peace as to what is available and what makes you happy.”
10. Be open to destinations traditionally considered for honeymoons. Italy offers many cities for smaller weddings. Consider a private buyout of an island resort in the Caribbean or the Maldives where it is just you and your guests. Create an experience for your guests. “ We have an amazing wedding next May that’s taking place in Switzerland. It’s about 300 guests. So I’m very excited about that.”
Video of above interview: https://youtu.be/7jRW35dxNK0
Full transcript below>
ON THE BUILD OF HER BUSINESS
Joya (02:54):
When you think back on the 18 years that you have been in business, um, what would you say are the top three business lessons that you’ve learned? If you were going to go back to the young soul and tell her your counsel, what would that be?
Sonal (03:09):
I think that the biggest thing is I wish that I had a team that was put together right from the beginning. And what I mean by a team is a great accountant, a great attorney, and a great financial advisor. And I think when you’re first starting out in business, like people don’t really tell you that, you know, you just write up a business plan and then, you know, you’re very excited to just get started and you know, you’re kind of like, Oh, I’m going to prove everybody wrong. I’m actually going to do this. Right. And I think that you are so gung ho about just getting everything out the door and rolling that you forget sometimes that like these three individuals in accounting, a great lawyer and a great financial advisor are just, they’re imperative for your business.
Sonal (04:51):
Because as business owners, sometimes you wear many hats and you just think that you’re going to be able to do everything. And I think that it allowed me to spend a lot more time on my business, which was really helpful and um, focus more on our clients and marketing and things that I needed to do that I was really good at as opposed to these other things. And I think the tipping point was really just convincing myself that I really needed the outside help and they were all part of this business team that was going to help me.
Joya (06:10):
You know, I interviewed a CEO earlier this week and he said that he couldn’t put enough stock in mental health and that when you are leader in a position of leadership, you’ve got to manage the higher highs and the lower lows.How do you maintain your mental health?
Sonal (06:55):
I mean, I think that for me it’s really important to have a network of people that I connect with that kind of understand what you’re going through because they’re going through the same thing. So whether it’s, um, you know, photographers that I work with or DJs or you know, just, uh, family friends that own their own businesses, I think it’s very different when you’re just starting out and, um, it’s something that’s so new, right? Because wedding planning, let’s face it, 18 years ago, nobody really had a wedding planner. It was very, uh, DUI. Um, you know, people are cooking the food in the, in their home kitchen and aunt so-and-so is helping this or you know, um, uncle so-and-so is doing this. So it was really a very new concept. And I think for me now, and even like reflecting back then, it was just the network that of people that I surrounded myself with that were kind of like my go to when it came to, um, you know, uh, just venting or being able to ask for advice or being able to say like, Hey, you know, do you think that the marketplace is going to sustain this kind of pricing?
Sonal (08:03):
Or, you know, what should I do in like this particular scenario? And I think that those things, um, helped me to be a lot more mentally sane because, let’s face it, I mean I think we’re all in different businesses, but we just give so much like our clients are their families that we’re, we’re constantly giving. And I think that even a couple of weeks ago I was talking to someone, it’s so important just to focus on yourself because you know, your mental health also affects the rest of your business and the people that are around you. And I think that that has a lot to do with it. And just being able to have a strong network of people that you can talk to.
ON WEDDINGS TODAY
Joya (08:41):
You and I were talking earlier and you said that the scope of weddings has changed. And I know you mentioned that it used to be more, do it yourself. Now people are hiring wedding planners. But talk to me about that scope. It’s now multi-day multi-city many, many outfits later that you’ve got an occasion that’s being put on.
Sonal (08:59):
Planning a wedding is a huge commitment and I think that having someone that’s an expert that’s done this umpteen number of times is really helpful. I tell potential clients all the time, there’s probably never going to be another life event where you’re going to drop half a million or a million dollars in the course of a weekend. And I think that people have to realize it’s not just about the experience that you’re giving your guests, but also what is that experience like for you when you’re planning it?
Joya (11:35):
You are hosting your own IG Live interviews with vendors. How has that scope changed
Sonal (11:54):
Not everybody is a size two or size four. So let’s say that you’re a bride that’s a size 10 or a 12. Like, how do this outfit from a top line designer work for you? The IG Lives humanizes the process and the strategy that goes into their designs. Even like a videographer.
Sonal (12:46):
Like they come, they shoot, they edit. But no, there’s so much more emotion that they have behind their craft. And I think people need to know about it, The vendors that you hire literally make or break your event. And I am so gung ho about passing that message along to people, whether they’re my client or whether they’re just planning a wedding on their own. The level of professionalism that you’re gonna get as opposed to, you know, okay, I’ve saved a thousand dollars here, but then you’re not like going into that wedding weekend with that full trust and confidence that you need.
HOW THE PANDEMIC IS AFFECTING WEDDINGS THIS YEAR
Joya: It’s been unprecedented times. Talk me through how the pandemic is affecting weddings?
Sonal (13:59):
Well, I think that maybe about four or five, maybe even six weeks ago, we were all super optimistic. Okay. You know, we might have to reschedule a couple of our April weddings. Um, and then it was like, okay, maybe we’ll need to reschedule a couple of our main weddings. And now we’re all the way up to September and October with people rescheduling. And I think that, um, it doesn’t really have to do with this fear per se. I think that it just has to really do with the fact that people want to be in the right frame of mind to plan such an occasion. And it’s a happy occasion. And what’s happening in the world is, you know, obviously not ideal right now, but, um, I think that a lot of it has to do with, you know, having your guests feel comfortable about traveling.
Sonal (14:48):
People that are postponing, they’re not actually canceling, which is fantastic. They’re postponing til next year. Um, they’re giving themselves enough time to just kind of take a moment to breathe, you know, absorb all this and, and what’s happening in the world and then go back to planning a little bit later. And we’re fully supportive of people moving their dates to next year. But I will say that what’s happening now in the wedding industry as a whole worldwide, not just in the United States, is we’re getting two years worth of weddings that are converging onto 2021 and it is just like, there’s no dates.
Sonal (15:52):
There’s the good vendors are getting taken and it’s not to create like massive hysteria, but it’s also to just put the word out that people need to be really decisive. Families need to be decisive. Um, you know, I think that people that are able to sit down and talk to their families and say, Hey, let’s make a decision. Because if, if someone’s like, well, let’s just see what happens. Let’s just see what, I think that, that’s such a hard thing to do because nobody knows what’s going to happen. And I don’t think we’re gonna wake up one day and this whole thing is just going to go away. And they’re like, okay, go back to your normal lives. Right? So taking that into consideration and taking things day by day, week by week. Um, I think a lot of couples and their families are doing the right thing by being able to at least explore the options.
Sonal (16:39):
So what we’ve been doing is, let’s say you’re getting married in October or November of this year, we’re just opening up the option of saying, okay, let’s find out when all your vendors are available. Let’s find out when your venues available. Let’s kind of, you know, put this all on a grid and let’s come up with some dates that might work and we’re not ready to pull the trigger yet and just move. But at least you have all the information and you know what you can potentially do. And I think it’s great to have these options of, okay, let’s keep it this year, but we know what, you know, what dates we have available for next year. And I think it makes people feel a little bit better knowing that they have an option B and a backup plan if they really need it.
Joya (17:23):
When you’ve got 300, 400 people that are expected to show up to a joyous occasion like this, how has this social distancing park going to work? Are you thinking about that?
Sonal (17:42):
Yeah, we were just on a zoom call. We’ve been on June calls this week that just spoke about that because Greece opened up and Greece was a huge destination travel market for us, for weddings. And um, now they’re only allowing like three to four people per table. So if you imagine only four people on a 72 adrenaline that can normally hold 10 to 12 and you have a 300 person wedding I, these are a lot of tables that you need to accommodate this many people and you need a massive venue for something like this. Right? So that’s what’s happening in Greece right now and kind of following suit on what they’re doing. I mean the United States hasn’t like announced anything of the sorts just yet, but we really, all of our new new brides for next year, we’re really telling them like get a bigger venue.
Sonal (18:32):
Like if you think you’re going to have like 300 guests get up, any of that can hold like 600 or 700 cause you just don’t know what’s going to happen between now and even April, may, June, July of next year. And if these regulations go into place, you can’t really be like, Oh my God, I now need to find a new new venue. So I think that that portion of it we’re really, really seriously focusing on at our company. But also just hiring caterers that are, you know, going to do sit down dinners and not just do buffets. Um, you know, what is their protocol going to be? How are they handling masks, gloves, their staffing, like food handling. And I think that it, it’s also communicating with our vendors to kind of figure out like, what are we going to be offering our clients for next year? That’s not nearly like, it doesn’t really have to be like just a state mandate or a government mandate, but just like for us as professionals, what are we doing to keep people safe?
Joya (19:29):
I also wonder if maybe there’s going to be a sea change where people are just going to opt to have more intimate weddings where it can’t be 300 people because the budget just doesn’t allow for a 600 person space. Could you see that in the future?
Sonal (19:43):
Yeah, I think that a lot of folks are really um, you know, if they were going to have a 300 person wedding this year, they’re really thinking about, okay, what is my guest lists looking like for next year and how it’s sometimes it’s not just about the couple deciding but their guests are going to decide for themselves, am I going to get on a plane and head to New York city for this wedding or am I going to go to New Jersey for this wedding? Cause a lot of our guests come from all over and you know, a lot, a lot of times, especially the international guests that are taking these flights from India or that are, you know, taking these flights from the far East. I mean they are on a flight for a really long time trying to get to your wedding. So I think that sometimes it’s just going to be, okay, we’re going to send out the invites and we’re going to see what happens.
Sonal (20:29):
And a lot of my couples for this year, I’m still encouraging them because you know, for, for some people it’s really important. Okay, I have to get married this year. Um, I want to start a family next year, et cetera, et cetera. So we’re still encouraging them, Hey, do your wedding this year, have it be very small. Very. I was just on a call with a company, which is fantastic. They just came out with this whole, um, it’s not like a zoom call, but it’s, it’s almost like a virtual way of getting married, which is very beautiful, elegant. The backdrop that they send you that you put up. So it’s not like, Oh, I’m going to get married in front of this brick wall, let’s just say. And you can, you know, there’s a link you send out and it’s, um, it’s a very upscale version of zoom, let’s just say. And it’s for the couple that still wants to get married this year and keep plugging away with the rest of their life because how long are you going to really wait sometimes, you know?
Joya (21:24):
And so is the technology such that everybody’s going to be able to dial in virtually and wish you well?
Sonal (21:29):
Correct. So let’s say the priest is there and then the couple is there, their family members or social distancing at home, but then this company comes with a professional camera crew that is doing this whole thing virtually for the rest of your guests that can basically dial in, join in to be able to see your ceremony. And then I think, you know, next year or even 20, 20, 22 people can do something that’s more celebratory for a smaller number of people. But I think that it’s only time really is, you know, the deciding factor of what’s going to happen. I mean, I still encourage guests, send out the invitations and you know, especially for South Asian weddings, if you’ve gone to all these other people’s weddings, then they’re going to eventually come to your wedding because it’s, it’s more, um, it’s more like, um, um, Brandy and weddings. It’s just the thing to do, right? I mean, that’s why these weddings get to be so big.
Joya (22:27):
What are, what are some of the advice that we haven’t touched upon that you are telling brides? I remember you saying that if you are thinking of a 2021 wedding, um, now’s the time to really think and plan. But now it sounds like that maybe that planning time, that latitude isn’t there anymore.
Sonal (22:43):
Well, it’s, it’s really crazy for next year. I mean 2021 and even into 2022 because let’s face it, there’s, you know, X number of days that are auspicious and only, you know, Y number of days that are auspicious and fall on a weekend. Right? So we’re just really like the things that we go through to pick dates that are auspicious and you know, all these things. Um, they’re just few and far between. So everybody that’s moving from this year to next year is also affecting all the brides who were originally gonna be planning to get married in 2021 so there’s just like this whole dichotomy of things that I’d never seen before in 18 years. And it’s not just for venues and couples, it’s also for vendors. Cause now like vendors are okay, my one bride from 2020 wants to move to 2021 but I’m getting this whole influx of calls for 2021 how do I balance all this? And a lot of your luxury vendors only, like we only do two weddings a month, right? Just for our own son Heidi and the customer service that we provide, we only really do two, we don’t ever double book a wedding and then we only do two weddings a month. So it really makes it challenging to accommodate everything that’s going on.
Joya (23:58):
So it sounds like a lot of patients is going to be in order come to 2021 if, if you are planning to get married.
Sonal (24:05):
Correct. And I’ve also been telling a lot of new clients, like I get it, everybody wants to get married on a Saturday, but in India people get married on a Tuesday or they get married on a Wednesday. Like it’s not that big of a deal. Especially if you can get your venue and you can get your vendors and you still have a beautiful wedding and people are still able to travel. You know, just open up these dates so that you’re a little bit more at peace as to what is available and making sure that you get what you know, what’s, what’s going to make you happy.
Joya (24:35):
I think one of the things that’s signature about you is that you do a lot of exotic vacations, vacation destination, weddings. What are some, um, what are some countries, some places that people haven’t considered that you think are like a real gem? It’s an undiscovered gem. And if Greece or Italy and Spain or Mexico or all the places that you’ve already done, weddings aren’t available, what’s a nice tucked away place that you’d recommend?
Sonal (25:01):
There’s so many beautiful places. Um, I’m very fortunate because I get to travel a lot and I love to travel as everybody knows. Um, honestly being stuck in one location for eight weeks, I don’t remember the last time that I was in the same city for eight weeks at a stretch. So, um, I think that, you know, my favorite places, I mean, I love Italy and we’ve talked about like Lake Como, I think it’s absolutely gorgeous, especially for Indian weddings. Um, there’s just, I think that there’s just some, it’s so charming and the character, um, that Italy has any different city that you go to I think is just beautiful. Um, we recently, a lot of our weddings are getting smaller, right? So, um, they’re talking about these private buyouts and there’s a ton of small islands in the Caribbean that literally you could just, it’s just you and your guests.
Sonal (25:58):
There’s nobody else there. And it’s perfect for hosting like a hundred person wedding. Um, we were approached by some places in the Maldives. Same thing. You just buy out. I mean, it’s one resort per Island in the Maltese. You buy out the whole resort, it’s just you. But some of these properties are gorgeous. They’re stunning. And it’s like, you know, people want to create an experience for their guests. And this is like an experience like no other. And I think that, you know, some of these places are thought about as more like honeymoon ish destinations, but that doesn’t mean you can, you don’t have to take like a hundred people and you can just do this phenomenal wedding that would really, really be very special for your guests. Um, I think we’re all about creating guest experiences. Um, a lot of our clients or when I hope so, still for next year into 2022, um, we’re doing Switzerland, Italy, um, France, Greece, and these places are amazing. And I think that, you know, even Mexico is great, but there’s so many Indian weddings that happen there that I think if you’re really looking for something that’s like the exclamation point these places. Yeah,
Joya (27:09):
What countries do you think are opening up?
Sonal (27:52):
Well, we were just on a call with people from Greece and there is someone from the Switzerland, um, board of tourism there. So I think Switzerland opened up this week. So you’re able to still travel there. We have an amazing wedding next may that’s taking place in Switzerland. It’s about 300 guests. So I’m very excited about that. And then grace just opened up. Yes, they’re practicing a whole lot of social distancing, but you know, those two locations are open and I’m sure like little by little other countries will open up. Um, but yeah, at least those two places for the time being. I know for sure.
Joya (28:27):
I always enjoy learning some business savvy from you. If someone wants to get in touch with you, what’s the best way?
Sonal (31:18):
Emails is sonal@SJS events. website: www.SJSevents.com. My cell phone number is on there and I’m very accessible
Joya (31:29):
You’re a lady drinks member. Thank you for your support through this time and your contributions to the community. And if anyone wants to reach me, you can get joya@ladydrinks.com. The website is ladydrinks.com. Everybody have a great weekend.
Sonal (31:44):
Thank you. You too. Thank you so much for having me.
