Tuesday, February 11th, Communication expert Gino Perrotte, founder of Right Brain Journeys, gave a talk to the LadyDrinks audience about the ART OF INFLUENCE: The six principles of persuasion. As a business owner, client service director, or an executive, we are influencing people, outcomes and decisions everyday.
- Reciprocity.
The first principle of influence is reciprocity.
Lekha talked about having trouble getting folks to see her in her role as Senior Product Manager at Paypal. Payal talked about patients having a tough time seeing her as the oculuplastic surgeon that she is, because she looks young. There are a couple of ways to have this reciprocity work for you. Give small gifts. Payal now has her own practice. Can she offer a 15 follow up visit to a patient and not charge for the time? Can Lekha bring bagels to the next breakfast meeting? Can Suzanne Katz offer a free 15 min consult on something financial related that the client didn’t expressly ask for, but it was apparent they needed it.
People feel obliged to give back to others the form of a behavior, gift, or service that they have received first. Gino takes this one step further in talking about heightened self awareness. When you are feeling guilt about an action you took, can you take a moment to ask more probing questions of yourself. Eleda talked about how her Latin blood and her tendency to lose control of emotions when dealing with team members. What is the anger really about?
- Consistency.
This is a big one for me. I’m consistently early to meetings. Gino suggests showing up to a meeting (either in person or on the phone) and bring an agenda so what you have to say is taken seriously and nothing gets forgotten. But Rita Taliwal talked about doing consults with patients, but then a staff member fails to close the deal. Gino suggests a ‘code word’ Rita can use to prompt the staff member to close the deal. Training is key here. But also, finding some with the ‘deal closing’ skills could be sussed out in the inital interview. Gino suggests sharing a product with the interviewee and asking them to sell it to Rita. How successful were they? Start with the small but public commitments.
- Social Proof.
Folks are usually showing their hand and sharing how they wish to be engaged with. Think of the hand shaking versus hugging example. Tejal talked about employees at her comapny being resistant to change management. So if you wanted to influence particular team in your department or the new hires, you need to get one of them to buy in first. When they see an employee like themselves seemingly taking action on their own or following a new directive, they are more probable to follow suit.
- Liking.
We spent time on this last night. People like others who are similar to them. Sunaina Mehra shared having to speak with a population that is either older. Can you find a few moments to exchange some personal information with each other? Identify a similarity you share in common then begin negotiating. If you can harness this powerful principle of liking, be sure to look for areas of similarity that you share with others and genuine compliments you can give before you get down to business. Gino encourages folks to use ‘intensifiers’ like ‘I really like your shirt” or “I am so so happy you are here today.’ But its context dependent. If you have determined that the person prefers to be communicated with in a more ‘feminine’ way, these intensifiers are acceptable. Know your audience.
- Authority.
This came up several times. Kate Scalley had a direct report who told her she couldn’t make a monthly meeting in West Chester. Kavita has team members who speak over one another on conference calls. If you are the person in charge, don’t be afraid to exert your authority. Somewhere, someone along the way got ‘social proof’ that it was okay to set your own schedule and not come to a meeting or realized it was okay to talk over another person. Gino suggests outlining your vision at the outset, and not suggesting, but telling a direct report that they have follow through on an ask for a monthly in person meeting. Gino suggests to Kavita to ask each person to state their name before speaking, and reminding everyone at the beginning of a call what the rules of etiquette are.
- Scarcity.
You can influence by creating urgency with your content or vocabulary. This works for anyone with a product or service offering. For example, I created a one time only offer that 7 women could attend my event tonight for free. But they had to be the first seven to respond. TODAY. And they had to put a certain language in the subject line. Sure enough, seven women responded in side of 24 hours to attend.
Other items:
Create healthy boundaries with language. Nora brought up that the is often on the receiving end of unsolicited advice. ‘Thank you for your advice. I”m following through on my current vision. But when I do decide to do __________, I will surely follow up and ask you.”
Be aware of body language and the energy you bring to a room or a conversation. Much is gleaned in the unsaid.
Be aware of language that diminishes your power. Just. So. Um. Uh. Actually. I think.
Edit your content, both written and verbal, to ask for what you want. Be care to toggle for cultural nuances. Always be watching and listening. People train you on how they wish to be treated. Sue Bhattacharya is a master at this as she is navigating business in places like Asia.
Modulate your voice if that is the only stimulus you have at your disposal. Speed up or speak up to create emphasis.
If you would like to work with or hire Gino Perrotte, he can be reached at Gino Perrotte <gino.perrotte@gmail.com>
Some of you asked how you can support the LadyDrinks movement. I welcome you to become a member at www.ladydrinks.com. Click on ‘Membership levels.’ Members at the MAYOR level attend all events for free. We also bring the community together each Friday with goal setting zoom calls, with specific prompts and questions.
Upcoming events:
FEB 12th LADYDRINKS AND OMEGA PRESENT A SELF CARE WORKSHOP FOR EXECUTIVE WOMEN https://www.eventbrite.com/e/85696904749
FEB 18th HOW TO USE VIDEO FOR YOUR BUSINESS: FIRESIDE CHAT WITH THE CEO OF VIMEO ANJALI SUD Video is the future. Do you know how to leverage it for your business? Get a rare front row seat with the CEO of Vimeo to learn how.
FEB 22nd PRINCETON, NJ LADYDRINKS AND FRANCIS FINANCIAL PRESENT RAISING FINANCIALLY SAVVY GIRLS
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/ladydrinks-presents-raising-financially-savvy-girls-tickets-84739864215
APR 1st LADYDRINKS PRESENTS: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME AN ANGEL INVESTOR
APR 15TH FIRESIDE CHAT WITH DVF CEO SANDRA CAMPOS
APR 16th SUMMIT NJ LADYDRINKS AND FRANCIS FINANCIAL PRESENT RAISING FINANCIALLY SAVVY GIRLS
JUNE 11TH NEW YORK LADYDRINKS PRESENTS: YOU’RE AN EXPERT. NOW ACT LIKE ONE. HOW TO BE A THOUGHT LEADER
