And why does it matter?
Tomorrow, I’m being interviewed by Karen Senteio, host of the Stiletto Dialogues podcast. Her first question to me is “What is the definition of influence and why does it matter?”
The definition of influence:
“the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something”
“To impact or effect on something or someone.”
This past year
I’ve taken women to a private salon at Chanel in Paris.
I’ve taken women to the souks of Marrakech.
My mission is to impact as many women as possible. I do this by taking them out of their comfort zones. It’s in that zone of discomfort, that growth happens.
This summer marked my most ambitious leadership adventure to date. Thirty women and their families were on a yacht together in Croatia for an 8 day sail of the Dalmatian Coast. One member shared that her family was on the verge of mutiny the day before they boarded the MS Riva. They didn’t want to go.
“I don’t know anyone,” was the plaintive cry.
This past weekend, the father remarked that its one thing to entertain 20 adults for a week. But I organized activities for the kids. By the end, the kids didn’t want to leave the boat.
In order for women to realize massive change for themselves, I have to get buy-in first.
I set the vision. I share the why. I make it easy for them to take part. And then “the train is leaving the station. Who is coming with me?”
I grew up in a home of domestic violence. I saw how women were second class citizens in my household. There were repercussions for having a voice. Today, I want to arm women with as many tools as possible for success. I share resources I wish I had when I was forging a high profile career by myself.
That brings me to the first point on influence.
People are watching. Are you a talker? or do you follow through on your word. I follow through on my word to a fault. Whether its a walk down the river, or helping you get that promotion, I’ve given my word. I’ll show up. Will you? I’ve always had vision. Some sit on that vision. I actually execute on it. My vision for my 50th birthday was to do an 8 day sail of the Dalmatian Coast this summer. I established that in 2016. This past July, 30 members of my women’s leadership platform and their families went.
Do you take others with you? If a big door or opportunity opens for me today, I think about “who can I bring with me?” I want to blow the doors open. Yes I have vision, but I’m actively thinking about, “Who would want this experience, but would never do it on their own?” One of my Mastermind members was in awe when I organized a hammam visit and dinner at La Mamounia, the number one hotel in Marrakech. It’s where Anna Delvey goes in the Netflix movie “Inventing Anna.” She felt she didn’t belong. I said, “yes, but you’re here. So now what’s your argument? What’s changed as a result of you being here?”
Communicate. Often. Very Often. I push people out of their comfort zones on a regular basis, but its important to take anything that makes the experience murky, and make it as transparent as possible. That means, I have to communicate. Alot. Last week, we did an hour helicopter ride over New York City. I shared that this trip is weather dependent. Safety comes first. We all had to sign waivers, with the understanding of liability should something happen. I shared how to get to the helipad by car, by train. A photo of the hangar we would be departing from. Identify your primary stakeholders, how they like to be communicated with, get decisions quickly, and then communicate the shit out of the goal.
Spend time one on one and truly listen. I spend ALOT of time, one on one with people. That’s when folks truly open up and share what motivates them. What they need. Invest in relationships by listening. By being present.
Lead with your values. I’ve overheard husbands of the women members say, “If Joya organizes something, I’ll go.” It makes me laugh. I lead my business with my top values — -which are adventure and beauty. I’m not shy about it. What do I stand for?
3 Ways to engage with me on a leadership adventure in 2023
I can build a VIP day around you in Paris in 2023. 3 days. 2 nights. Uninterrupted time to focus on you. What is your personal brand? Let’s get clarity on it.
I can build a VIP Day around you in New York City or the Hamptons.
You can elect to be a part of my Mastermind. It’s a 12 month journey with an elite group of women. In 2023, we head to a villa in Tuscany and sail the Turkish Coast.
joya@joyadass.com
